So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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