No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
