Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
