I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
