Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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