My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
either way he was missing a nipple.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
