So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
