When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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