before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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