Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
