YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
