Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
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