wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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