You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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