I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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