i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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