Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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