just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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