Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize