So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
