I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
