He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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