He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
