No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
pop tarts are not kleenex
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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