ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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