Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
