My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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