if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
