Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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