a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
