I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
