I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Randomize
