Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
