he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
