You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
