I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
