hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
soo... how was my night?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
