you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
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