He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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