I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
