In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
