matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.