You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?