Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"