Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
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you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
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Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I am naked and annoyed.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot