Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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