i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
