So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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