yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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