Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
how do flat chested girls get laid?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
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He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I came so hard my ears popped.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
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