i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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