oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
