Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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