I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
