Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
