i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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