This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
