i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
