Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I had to cum in my sink.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
