either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize
