Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
