I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
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Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
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Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
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