Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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