Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
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