i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
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Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
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