their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
