ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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