Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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